=D
Birthday Cake
Note: This was a birthday gift to me. If you do not realize that the fan they’re talking about in the story is me, then you do not deserve to read this. Many thanks to HappyDanceOfJoy
When Gyuri opened the door, Nicole was beaming at her over an armful of paper bags that bulged with baked goods. “I made some snacks to keep you inspired. Usually does the trick for me… Maybe a little too well,” Nicole admitted with a rueful little sigh.
Gyuri waved Nicole in with one hand and relieved her of a bag with the other. She peered into it as she led Nicole to the kitchen and was slightly surprised to find a heavily-frosted cake. “I’m sure this will be helpful indeed,” said Gyuri, regarding the thick cream with interest. “Is it someone’s birthday?”
“I just wanted to experiment with a recipe, but I’m sure it’s someone’s birthday somewhere,” laughed Nicole. “Maybe a Kara fan who beats baby brats at Just Dance.”
“One who goes on to head a crew of fifty, forty-nine of whom are actually back-up dancers slash refreshment-catering minions,” mused Gyuri.
“She ends up organizing elaborate butt-dancing flash mobs across the globe in her free time,” suggested Nicole.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I imagined as well,” said Gyuri. “Anyway, we can eat these later, and we can think of things we can do to work the calories off after that. I have a few ideas already.” Gyuri smiled mysteriously; Nicole blinked and smiled back. “What we need to do now,” Gyuri continued, “is get started.” She grabbed Nicole’s shoulders from behind, steered her to the bathroom, and pushed her inside.
“Unnie, what—” yelped Nicole.
“Wear what’s hanging in the shower stall. I’ll be waiting for you in the bedroom,” Gyuri called, closing the door on Nicole’s confused face. She proceeded to skip upstairs to her boudoir, whistling all the way.
—-
“Is something the matter?” asked Gyuri sweetly as she applied deft strokes here and there.
“Um,” said Nicole, dressed solely in what appeared to be a portion of Gyuri’s bedsheet. “I guess I didn’t expect to have to wear a costume when you asked me to pose for you today.” She made as if to adjust the sheet so that less cleavage would be bared but dropped her hand quickly when Gyuri shot her a disapproving stare from behind the easel. “And, uh, I thought we would be doing this in the living room, where there’s more light,” Nicole went on. “Don’t artists need a lot of light, unnie? It’s kind of dark in here, even with all of… this.” Nicole gestured helplessly at the halo of scented candles arranged around her.
Gyuri threw her head back and laughed. “Perhaps this is so for amateurs. I wouldn’t know. The candles are for establishing atmosphere only. I emit all the light I need.” Nicole could say nothing in response because it was the truth. Then, after posing for some time under the blaze of the flames as well as Gyuri’s heated gaze—
“Unnie,” Nicole managed weakly, “I’m feeling kind of warm.”
“Of course,” said Gyuri as smoothly as if the words had been pre-scripted. “Let me just open a window for you.”
As soon as the window was open, a mighty gust of wind rushed into the room and tore the bedsheet off of Nicole’s body.
“Oh, my,” said Gyuri as the bedsheet flew into the flames of the candles and landed in a neat pile of ash.
“Oh, my gosh, what to do?!” shrieked Nicole, attempting to censor as much as possible of herself with her arms but failing miserably.
“This is awkward, but don’t worry,” assured Gyuri. “I can make it all better.”
“Really?” squeaked Nicole with wide, tremulous anime eyes.
“Yes,” said Gyuri before she shoved the easel aside roughly. It fell to the ground with a clatter. Then Gyuri ripped off her fancy smock—the only thing she had been wearing—in a singular motion and
THE END
- Lower your volume.
- I was not aware that I could reach such a pitch.
- I can’t understand why I am unable to hold the camera still while yelling.
- Yes, I did scare/annoy my neighbors.
- I REGRET NOTHING.
Burnt Cookies
For HappyDanceOfJoy. Sorry I forgot your birthday. Happy belated!
Once upon a time, there was a young lady named Jung Nicole. She happened to be a member of KARA.
Neekole had the day off and chose to channel her frustrations into something that won’t make her gain weight, nail art. Being cruel and sadistic to herself, she chose a mint chocolate chip color that will only remind of her of the desserts she can’t have. She realized this mistake only after tweeting a photo of her impeccable nails and seeing the responses about food flooding back in.
Nic Ole, having too much free time and an insatiable craving for sweets, needed to do something about it. She HAD to have something to eat. Naturally, the first thing that came to mind was a mint chocolate chip cookie.
Meanwhile, Park Gyuri was headed out of her apartment (apparently located in Seocho according to unreliable sources, I have yet to confirm this myself in fear that I might pass out in front of her building if I ever caught sight of her, undressing in front of her window). Kyu Ree, never having a fantastic night’s sleep (cuz she hasn’t met me yet ifyouknowwhatimean), felt groggy and incomplete. The cold winter air wasn’t enough to wake her out of her stupor. She needed something more to stir her spirits, raise her up, shine bright like a diamond so to speak. Naturally, the first thing that came to mind was a mint chocolate chip cookie.
Fuck, how do I incorporate a park into here…ugh…they both…randomly met at the same park! Let’s go with that.
So they both randomly met at the same park, identical cookies in hand. GyuLee had heard Nicoke singing to her cookie which brought them together.
“Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad
Oh oh oh…
My mind keeps saying
Run as fast as you can
Troublemaker
I say I’m done but then you pull me back
Oh oh oh…
I swear you’re giving me a heart attack
Troublemaker,” Nicole crooned to her cookie as she nibbled on it.
Grryi gently approached the tweety bird lost in her own world from behind, but still managed to scare the shit out of her. Nicole was as flighty as her nickname might suggest. Unfortunately for her, she dropped her cookie as a result.
“Woe to me! How will I ever fulfill this sweet sugar craving now?” bemoaned (insert favorite era Nicole here), shaking her (short/long) hair the wind, the sun reflecting off the (black, dark chocolate, blonde, purple) strands.
“Here, come with me, unnie has an idea.” eagerly assured the leader.
Little did Nicori know, Gunlee had ulterior motives for leading Cole back to her place. That emptiness, that ache that Kyuri felt earlier was going to be a thing of the past because nothing is more satisfying than a challenge accepted and conquered.
…
“Whoops! My fingers slipped!” Gyuri said.
“My hands are just out of control!” joked the leader.
“That’s ok unnie,” Nicole whispered close to Gyuri’s ear.
Gyuri was kneading cookie dough at the kitchen counter with Nicole standing close behind her, supervising her every move. Gyuri had thought to make Nicole some cookies since Nicole was always baking for other people. She had felt really guilty for making Nicole lose hers.
“I’m sorry for taking so long, I’m not as good at this like you,” Gyuri apologized.
Nicole didn’t mind too much, but she was getting hungry. “Let’s speed up unnie.”
Nicole took the dough from under Gyuri’s hands and worked her magic. Within minutes, she mended the lifeless lump into perfectly shaped mounds of choco mint goodness. A few seconds later and the heat was on, the oven warming up for the cookies. Gyuri just stood there frozen on the spot, watching Nicole’s skillful and newly painted hands working here, there and everywhere all at once.
Once the tray was pushed in and the door shut, Gyuri pulled Nicole, all sweaty and dusty from her hard work, onto the couch for a reprieve. Having only did part of the work, she still felt her challenge unconquered.
The end. Unless you want to write a better ending, BE MY GUEST.
This magazine had been waiting a year for me in a Taiwanese bookstore in the sale Japanese section. It was the first one that I pulled from the stack.
There was a promotion on the street where you had to guess whose name you’ll pull out of a hat. I chose Hara and I got Hara. Thank you, I won a tube of hand cream.
The Unboxing: Raw and Uncensored
Warning: This video contains images from the KARA solo collection and those who wish to not be spoiled should avoid watching. Also, the views and opinions expressed here are awesomely mine and might possibly offend Nicole and Hara stans. If you do take this video in a negative way, suck it.
Seriously though, this is me, and my squeaky voice, be kind.
